PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You are the jesus of drinking
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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