how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Randomize
