phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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