Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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