I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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