Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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