the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
