I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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