I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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