No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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