just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You're earring is so big in my mouth
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
