forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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