haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
