i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How does it feel to date your dad?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
