i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
