OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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