real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
