K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
