Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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