Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
