i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
