i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
