Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
