Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
