Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
