friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
