Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
