I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
