Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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