I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
