So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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