Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
