I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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