Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
