He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
