Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
