He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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