There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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