hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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