Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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