we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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