New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
