Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
