we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
