You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
one two three fourrrrnication!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
