You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
