Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
