I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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