please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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