I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize