Midget sex pt 2 tonight
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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