He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
