ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
