Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
