apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize