I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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