white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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