It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
