Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
