do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
